I remember that day - a day so clear in my mind. I was sitting, bored watching TV, some show called... Ok, seriously, I don't remember THAT much. I just know I started to play video games on a square cube that shoots a bunch of pixels into the TV. I mean, playing Super Mario is fun! I mean, jumping on turtle, squashing pieces of crap, and saving the princess from getting raped by a dinosaur, and at the end have some sexy time. Seriously, that's the entire thing.

You keep going world after world, seeing a shroom dealer saying 'Soryy Mario! The princess is in another castle, go away.' Well, you know Mr. Shroom? I could jump into a warp zone and zip to world 66-6. First off, Mario is a plumber. Start unclogging my toilet, fatass. Second, if that dinosaur even TRIED, he would kill the princess. Third, someone must have invented the walking pieces of shit. I mean, really. You can't stop me from still playing video games, right?